Surviving Crunchem Hall

Posted by
Roald Dahl HQ
Posted on
11:00am, 23rd February
Categories
Matilda
Amanda Thripp, from Roald Dahl's Matilda, illustrated by Sir Quentin Blake
  • Amanda Thripp, from Roald Dahl's Matilda, illustrated by Sir Quentin Blake
  • Bruce Bogtrotter, from Roald Dahl's Matilda, illustrated by Sir Quentin Blake
  • Lavender, from Roald Dahl's Matilda, illustrated by Sir Quentin Blake
  • Hortensia, from Roald Dahl's Matilda, illustrated by Sir Quentin Blake
  • Matilda Wormwood, from Roald Dahl's Matilda, illustrated by Sir Quentin Blake

Many children in the UK are heading back to school today after half term week. But not to Miss Trunchbull's Crunchem Hall.

For Matilda Wormwood and her fellow pupils at Crunchem Hall - including Lavender, Hortensia, Bruce Bogtrotter and Amanda Thripp - heading back to school means facing down The Trunchbull. And that's a scary thing.

So it seems a good time to run through Matilda's school survival tips - and hopefully stay away from The Chokey...

1. Remember the hair-raising rules


Amanda Thripp's mother thought pigtails were a good idea. Miss Trunchbull didn't. And it was poor old Amanda who paid the price. 

LESSON: Pigtails are a no-go

2. Never ever eat the teacher's cake


Bruce Bogtrotter learned this the hard way: if you spot a tasty looking slice of chocolate cake on the headmistresses plate, don't be tempted to sneak a piece. 

LESSON: Leave the cake on the plate

3. Newts and water glasses don't mix


Tempting as it can be to play a trick on a teacher like the Trunchbull, Lavender's newt idea backfired when that terrible headmistress blamed Lavender's friend Matilda for the mayhem. 

LESSON: Newts belong in ponds, not glasses

4. Be prepared 


If you're going to challenge a teacher - especially one like the Trunchbull - you must be willing to face the consequences. Hortensia's little games have seen her to the horrible Chokey more than once.

LESSON: Be aware of all possible outcomes

5. Go the whole hog


As Matilda herself says, if you are going to do something, it will need to be so fantastically far-fetched that no-one outside of school will believe you:

Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous. Go the whole hog.